Nov
29
2008
94

Vanessa Paradis Has Ugly, Stubby Teeth


I flinched when I saw this photo…At first I thought it was photoshopped to make Vanessa Paradis’ teeth look like a nasty ass crackwhore’s.  Then, being the sleuth that I am, I googled her and “teeth” and found that her teeth have been the focus of conversation before.  Ugh.  Yuck is all I can say.  Look at Johnny Depp’s face in that photo–he’s staring right at her mouth and teeth with a gaze that just screams disappointment.  He’s probably thinking, “You promised me you wouldn’t smile on the red carpet.” 

Seriously, I mean, what is with all those gaps?  I mean, I can BARELY understand how some celebs (like Madonna and Lauren Hutton) leave that one gap between their front teeth…I can understand it on some level.  But, it’s one thing to have ONE gap between your central incisors, and it’s another thing to have gaps between all your stubby, little teeth.  Her teeth aren’t even white–one of them even looks brown (ie. the canine).  I’m just speechless everytime I look at that photo.  Does she have bulimia?  Does she smoke?  Does she grind her teeth at night?  All of those would contribute to your teeth looking like that. Whatever the reason for all those nubby teeth–Vanessa Paradis needs to fix them STAT.  Get her to the damn dentist.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Teeth / Smiles | Tags: ,
Nov
22
2008
14

Liv Tyler’s Veiny Feet

liv tyler's feet
Liv Tyler is pretty…I give her that.  But her feet…her feet…well, they ain’t all that.  I don’t know if it’s because she’s so pale or what, but I can see a ton of little veins–as well as some bigger bulging veins–all over her feet.  Not attractive.  If it’s one thing that screams ugly, it’s veiny hands and veiny feet.    At closer inspection of the photo, it looks like Liv might have some stubble on her lower leg (see upper right corner of picture)…or just really visible hair follicles…either way, ewwww.  Couldn’t they have airbrushed those hair follicle pore thingys out?

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Feet | Tags:
Nov
21
2008
3

Jewel’s Redneck Teeth

jewel kilcher's crooked teeth
jewel kilcher's crooked teeth
Oh, Jewel…I love your music (with the exception of that song you put out called “Intuition”).  But, I don’t understand why you haven’t had your teeth fixed.  I can understand that your smile is unconventional, and one could argue that it gives your smile some “character.”  However, you could try to straighten at least a few of those teeth–not all of them–just a few…that would make a huge difference.  I give you credit for keeping them white, though.  The thing is, I searched high and low for photos of you smiling big on the red carpet or at media events, and there really aren’t many.  I got the impression that perhaps you, yourself, are a little self-conscious about your teeth. And, you have a right to be, because that is one messed up set of chompers.  My favorite photo of your smile is one that I found on Blender.com…your right canine tooth is basically sticking out of your mouth at a near 180 degree angle.  Your teeth are supposed to stay IN your mouth when you smile, Jewel–not stick out.  Might I suggest Invisalign?  It is ridiculously expensive, from what I understand, but I’m thinking you can afford it.

jewel kilcher crooked teeth

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Teeth / Smiles | Tags:
Nov
20
2008
0

MaMa Lotion – Review

MaMa Lotion review (mandelic & malic acid lotion)
If anything, MaMa Lotion sure has a catchy name.  I first heard about MaMa Lotion purely by chance. I was browsing one of the many internet skin care stores, and I stumbled upon its product page. As I was about to click off the page onto another product, I noticed that MaMa Lotion had received extremely high ratings from many users who had posted their reviews on the store’s site. I was intrigued.  One or two good reviews is not enough to pique my interest, but this thing had close to 30 good reviews.  I then checked the price, sure that something that good had to be ridiculously expensive.  To my sheer disbelief, it was priced at around $45.  I could easily knock the price down a few bucks more with an online coupon.  I was doubly intrigued.  I had just placed an order for an Obagi product, so I did not order MaMa Lotion that night.  As luck would have it, when my Obagi product arrived, a couple samples of MaMa Lotion in small white tubes accompanied it in the batch of free samples I get with every order.  This was fate, I thought.  I’m not usually this lucky…in fact, I would argue that I’m quite unlucky in general (but that’s a topic for another time and another place).

I would not suggest to do what I did–that is, to use the Obagi Nu-Derm System with MaMa Lotion at the same time.  Both contain potent ingredients that can (and most likely) will cause irritation.  But, I’m here to give you information, so if a blogger is not supposed to be a guinea pig, then who is?

In case you are wondering, I used the MaMa Lotion in my Obagi A.M. routine after applying Step 4 (which is the Obagi Exoderm Forte).  The reason I chose to use MaMa Lotion with the Exoderm is because both are alpha hydroxy formulas with the same goals in mind–resurfacing the skin, diminishing wrinkles and reducing acne, among others.

So, what’s the bottom line?  MaMa Lotion is good stuff.  It has a thick liquid-like consistency so you don’t have to spend a lot of time trying to rub it into your face.  I guess one can argue that it can feel sticky, but it never once got to the point where it bothered me.  I followed it with my moisturizer (with sunscreen), and I had no problems getting it to absorb after using MaMa Lotion.  But, please use MaMa Lotion either alone or once you are on your Obagi maintenance plan.  You will feel irritation and see redness in your face when you start using MaMa Lotion.  It’s extremely strong.  In the time that I was using it, I was starting to see smoother skin texture and tone.  When I stopped using MaMa Lotion, I lost that healthy “glow” it was giving my skin.  Oh yeah, do not–I repeat, DO NOT–use this stuff on your eyelids.  Trust me…been there, done that…not a good idea.

I can definitively say that I will be adding MaMa Lotion to my Obagi maintenance plan in a couple of months.  It works very well and it won’t break the bank.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Beauty Product Reviews,Skin Care |
Nov
18
2008
2

Obagi Nu-Derm Review, Part 1

obagi nu-derm system review

I am a skeptic.  I admit it.  I am quicker to doubt than to believe when I watch informercials, see advertisements or read glowing reviews.  It took me many months to finally decide to try Obagi products.  I had read countless reviews and seen a dozen before-and-after photos before I decided to bite the bullet and see if all the hype was true or just a genius marketing strategy.  In all honesty, however, I was too afraid to start the Obagi Nu-Derm system after reading about the rough first few weeks of adapting to the prescription-strength hydroquinone and Retin-A.  I first tried the Obagi-C Rx system before building up the courage to start the Nu-Derm system.  I will post a review on the Obagi-C Rx system at a later date, but right now I wanted to focus on reviewing the Obagi Nu-Derm system.

To be succinct: it’s true; it’s all true.  The Obagi Nu-Derm System is nothing short of miraculous.  It will truly transform your skin if you bare through the difficult beginning weeks and if you have the patience and time to follow the strict protocol.  I spent six weeks–yeah, you read it right–6 weeks with unsightly red, peeling and, at times, dry itchy skin.  It almost took so long that I started believing that the Obagi Nu-Derm System is either a scam or does not work for everybody.  Starting around the 7th to 8th week, the redness was subsiding, revealing smoother skin texture and more even skin tone.  As of today’s post, I’m at the 10 week mark, and the worst is behind me.

I have 12-18 weeks left on the Obagi Nu-Derm System, but 10 weeks through, I can honestly say my skin has never looked so healthy and young.  My skin even feels softer and smoother.  I used to need foundation every time I left the house to even out my skin tone; now, I only need concealer in a few spots.  I wouldn’t go so far as to say you’ll never need to use make-up again after the Obagi Nu-Derm System; I would say, however, that you’ll need considerably less.  

Since I’m a little less than half-way through the entire system with this much improvement already, I’m anxious to see what the remaining weeks have in store for me.  I will be updating my review with consecutive parts–so stay tuned for Part 2!

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Written by bitching beauty in: Beauty Product Reviews,Skin Care |
Nov
17
2008
7

Eva Longoria Needs to Shave…Her Face


This picture has been floating around the internet for a while now, but no “celebrities without make-up” collection is complete without it.  It’s hard to believe that this yucky thing is Eva Longoria, who usually looks rather sexy and, dare I say, hot.  I mean, can make-up really transform someone from nasty to hot?  I guess so.  This picture is proof.  What is that shadow above her mouth?  Looks like a moustache.  Oh, the humanity.  This photo is painful to look at.  If it weren’t for the designer duds she’s wearing, she could totally pass for an L.A. hobo.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrities without Make-Up | Tags:
Nov
16
2008
2

Scarlett Johansson’s Two-Tone Teeth



scarlett johansson's teeth smile
I was looking at some high-resolution pictures of Scarlett Johansson recently, and I noticed something funky about her teeth.  Her 6 front teeth (canine to canine) on her upper arch are a completely different shade from her other teeth.  Oddly, Scarlett’s front 6 teeth are considerably darker than her back teeth.  Naturally, teeth are darker the further back you go in your arch.  It seems to be completely opposite with Scarlett’s teeth.  It looks as though Scarlett had some cosmetic dental work done–either once or twice.  It’s possible that the 6 front teeth are porcelain veneers that have stained over time and the back teeth are her own natural teeth.  It’s also possible that all her upper teeth are veneers, and that the 6 front ones were done at a different time (and therefore a different batch of porcelain) as the others, which explains the discrepancy in color.  Whatever the reason, Scarlett needs to get those yellow teeth or veneers taken care of!  She has a nice smile, but that coffee-stain color has got to go.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Teeth / Smiles | Tags:
Nov
16
2008
31

Carrie Underwood’s Uneven Toes


Carrie Underwood may have the best looking legs around…but what good are great legs if your feet (yeah, those things at the very bottom of your legs) are cring-worthy? While some of you may feel I’m being over-critical, might I direct your attention to Carrie’s foot? Take a good look at that. I don’t know about you, but in my book, the longest toe on your foot is supposed to be your big toe, not the one next to it. Yuck. In the same vein, the second longest toe on your foot is supposed to be the one next to the big toe, not the middle one. Seriously, her middle toe is longer than her big toe. That is one messed up foot or set of toes, whatever you want to call it. Maybe Tony Romo took one look at her toes and split? You never know. I always wondered why Romo chose Jessica Simpson over Carrie Underwood…now I’m starting to wonder whether it was her unsightly feet? Seriously, did any of you see the movie, “Boomerang”? If you did, you would know that toes matter.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Feet | Tags:
Nov
16
2008
0

Julia Roberts: Pretty Woman or Pretty Scary without Make-Up?


Wowza, Julia, with no make-up you don’t look like the Hollywood Star with the $20 million smile.  In all fairness, Julia Roberts never really needs too much make-up to look presentable.  Even on the red carpet, Julia Roberts’ make-up choices are always modest and moderate…very rarely does she choose to do dramatic make-up.  With that in mind, it’s amazing that there is such a huge difference between no make-up and modest make-up.  Besides the make-up issue here, I have to say that those cheek hollows are looking a little worrisome.  Cheek hollows are nice and all, but there’s a fine line between looking glamorous and looking like you just lived through the Great Famine.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrities without Make-Up | Tags:
Nov
16
2008
1

Jessica Alba Is Actually NOT Perfect


jessica alba with no make-up on
Jessica Alba is perfection in the eyes of many women and (particularly) men.  She always looks flawless on the red carpet–perfect skin, perfect make-up, perfect hair, perfect outfit…you get the point.  That is why I was mortified when I saw this photo of her with no make-up on.  It’s not that I thought Jessica Alba always looks the way she does on the red carpet.  There is no way any mortal wakes up in the morning looking flawless.  It’s just that I thought Jessica Alba would never let the public see what she looks like without the magic of make-up and cosmetics.  While this photo is not the greatest quality photograph, I can clearly see the bags under her eyes and a few other things (ie. uneven skin tone…gasp!) that make her look…well…normal…and not so picture perfect.  Jessica Alba is human, folks.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrities without Make-Up | Tags: