Who says money can’t buy you everything?? Well, it can definitely buy you beauty. You just have to be smart about it. Case in point: Ivanka Trump. She’s daddy’s (the Donald’s) little girl and has all the money in the world. If plastic surgery is what she wants, plastic surgery she will get. Even though she has the means to have as many procedures as she wishes, she (thankfully) has not gone all-out like Heidi Montag in a white-trash “create-a-ho-bag” plastic surgery binge. One plastic surgery procedure she has obviously had done is the (obligatory) nose job. It seems everyone has had a nose job these days. Here’s a before shot of little Ivanka, looking cute and young with a bump on her high bridge:

And here is Ivanka Trump all grown up with a conspicuously lower and bumpless bridge:

Don’t even get me started on the other stuff (boobjob, porcelain veneers, etc)…but at least it’s all done with a little taste and class.

Okay, okay…I know what you’re thinking…Natalie Portman would never dabble in cosmetic enhancement because she’s perfect, right? WRONG. I guess she must be as insecure as all the rest of them women who take needles to their lips, cheeks and foreheads to look younger. Or maybe as the new face of Dior cosmetics, she feels more pressure to be, well, “more beautiful.” Natalie appeared at the AFI Lifetime Achievement Tribute to Mike Nichols last week looking very plump in the face. I checked her ass, and her ass doesn’t look any bigger, which leads me to believe Natalie is getting injectable fillers in her face–you know, Restylane, Juvederm, Radiesse, etc. Seriously, she can’t really expect us to believe she only gains weight in her face. I don’t know anyone who can put on fat only in their face without any going to their ass. In any case, want some proof? Check out these candids of her in October 2009:

A closer look…Yup, I can see hollows under her eyes and nose-to-mouth lines (nasolabial folds)…

Okay, you might be saying, it’s unfair to compare candids where she has minimal make-up on to public appearances where she gets all dolled up. To appease y’all, check out this photo of her taken at a public appearance in October 2009 (incidentally, the same month and year the candids above were taken):

I don’t know about you, but I can still see the hollows under her eyes, the nasolabial folds as well as some hollowing under her cheeks. She looks fine to me, so I don’t know why she felt the need to bloat her face for the AFI event this past month:

She almost looks like a completely different person with all the injections (kind of reminds me of Kelly Kapowski from “Saved by the Bell” aka Tiffani Amber Thiessen). While she doesn’t look awful in the “after” shots, I like Natalie’s look before she pumped her face full of lord knows what. I feel like now she’s teetering on the brink of “L.A. plastic Barbie doll” territory. Next thing you know, Natalie will start hanging out with Heidi Montag. Seriously, I never thought I’d see the day where I’d mistake a photo of Natalie for a photo of Kelly Kapowski.

Before:

After:Last I checked, Molly Sims is under the age of 40, so why the fuck does she look like she’s 55 now?? Molly Sims has always had a natural, classic beauty. And, if you asked me, she was aging quite nicely. Apparently, not nicely enough for her…I guess she felt the need to go under the knife. Maybe she thought a little nip and tuck would do her some good…I’m not exactly sure what type of plastic surgery procedure she had, but it don’t look so good. She looks like Farah Fawcett now (when she had cancer–not when she was one of Charlie’s Angels). Sims got plastic surgery to look better and now she looks like an old hag instead. Good job, Molly!

I’m wondering if Faith Hill is a chainsmoker, because there is really no reason someone her age would have such deep wrinkles in their forehead and around their eyes. And, this picture is after she has had makeup caked on her face. I wonder what she looks like when she wakes up…probably like my chain-smoking uncle. I am a big fan of hers, but those deep wrinkles have got to go. She needs to get her face ironed–STAT. Restylane, Juvederm, Radiesse–take your pick, Faith–you certainly have the money. Just get it done, because I can’t bear to see anymore photos of you like this. Or like this.

How on earth this girl has the confidence to even let photographers take pictures of her is beyond my understanding. If I looked like her, I would crawl under a rock and stay there. And then she has the courage to wear outfits like this one…the outfit isn’t awful. Put Jennifer Aniston in this outfit and she’d be smokin’ hot. Rumer Willis in this outfit, however, is the complete polar opposite of smokin’ hot. And, it’s not just her face this time. It’s her damn legs. They’re covered in spider veins. Look at her upper thighs. I can see the veins even in this low-resolution photo. Nasty. And, why exactly does she have spider veins? I thought only old women who give birth 5 times get spider veins. This girl desperately needs work done…and a lot of it.

I always suspected that Hilary Duff has had work done on her face (and I’m talking about her horse teeth veneers…that’s a completely separate post itself)…I’m talking about the fact that at some point during the past several years her face completely changed.  Her nose has definitely been tinkled with…I mean, check out her pre-nosejob schnoz in this old photo of hers…bulbous with nostril flare galore.  Now, her nose is much more elegant.  There’s also been some speculation on the net that Hilary has also had some kind of facial implant (some claim she’s had cheek implants and some she say she has a chin implant).  I was skeptical, but after finding this photo of her, I’m starting to think there may be some credibility to those rumors.  If I had to guess, I’d put my money on the chin implant, since her whole lower face (chin + jawline) these days is completely different than what it was…it’s much more sculpted now than the roly-poly face she had back in the day.

Check out these before and after pictures of Megan Fox. She’s got a serious plastic surgery fetish. If I got as many procedures as she’s had, I’d be freaking hot too…I don’t know about you, but I can count at least three procedures she’s had: a very obvious rhinoplasty, a lip lift (reducing the distance between her upper lip and nose and giving her that toothy pout) and most probably a browlift. I would also bet the farm that she gets her lips injected every several months with her choice of filler (restylane, juvederm, etc). She looked like average trailer trash before all that surgery, and now she looks like hot trailer trash. I guess there’s no surgery that can de-trailer trash you. I guess there are some things after all that money can’t buy.

What happened to actress Winona Ryder? She used to be so beautiful…well, maybe I’m being generous…but, she was definitely cute/pretty back in the day.  Now, she looks like she’s 80 years old.  Seriously, she looks like a shriveled up old hag who belongs in a nursing home.  Actually, I think I saw her there when I went to visit my grandma.  They were playing bridge, and Winona was bragging about when “back in the day” she used to be all that and dated hot rock stars and movie stars.  Then she got all lamentful…she said it was all downhill after she got arrested for shoplifting.  Now the only man she can get is Hubert, the nursing home bus driver who has grey nose hairs sticking out of his nostrils and whose butt crack shows everytime he bends over to unlock a resident’s wheel chair.

It was sad, I tell you.  Sad.

Jennifer Lopez appeared at the premiere of “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” with curiously large lips.  Hmm…looks like the typical “bee stung” look that goes hand in hand with lip augmentation injections (pick your filler of choice: restylane, juvaderm…they all look the same).  See how the upper lip curls out almost unnaturally?  See the perch above her upper lip where someone could plop their fat ass and sit?  That, my friends, is a sign of lip augmentation…especially if a forty year old has it.

There wasn’t a clear cut category for this hi-res photo of Faith Hill…does it go into the Celebrity Plastic Surgery category or the Ugly Celebrity Body Parts one?  The only thing ugly here are those deep (and numerous) wrinkles on her face…wrinkles don’t really count as a body part.  And, since it doesn’t look like she’s had any plastic surgery action (at least not when this photo was taken), it doesn’t really count as Celebrity Plastic Surgery.  After weighing the pros and cons of each, this photo will reside in the plastic surgery category…why?  Well, because we highly recommend some filler action for Faith Hill (and some Botox).  Fill in those wrinkles!  Faith, you’re looking awfully old awfully young.