Oh my God.  How long are Lindsay Lohan’s breasts?  Look at her left boob (not her right one, because she has her right arm raised, and we all know that raises the boob too).  Her left boob is like 10 inches long. Someone her age is supposed to have round, perky boobs–not saggy boobs that hang down to your belly button.  Lindsay Lohan needs a breast lift, especially if she plans on wearing bikinis and not being mistaken for an 80 year old.

Liv Tyler is pretty…I give her that.  But her feet…her feet…well, they ain’t all that.  I don’t know if it’s because she’s so pale or what, but I can see a ton of little veins–as well as some bigger bulging veins–all over her feet.  Not attractive.  If it’s one thing that screams ugly, it’s veiny hands and veiny feet.    At closer inspection of the photo, it looks like Liv might have some stubble on her lower leg (see upper right corner of picture)…or just really visible hair follicles…either way, ewwww.  Couldn’t they have airbrushed those hair follicle pore thingys out?

Carrie Underwood may have the best looking legs around…but what good are great legs if your feet (yeah, those things at the very bottom of your legs) are cring-worthy? While some of you may feel I’m being over-critical, might I direct your attention to Carrie’s foot? Take a good look at that. I don’t know about you, but in my book, the longest toe on your foot is supposed to be your big toe, not the one next to it. Yuck. In the same vein, the second longest toe on your foot is supposed to be the one next to the big toe, not the middle one. Seriously, her middle toe is longer than her big toe. That is one messed up foot or set of toes, whatever you want to call it. Maybe Tony Romo took one look at her toes and split? You never know. I always wondered why Romo chose Jessica Simpson over Carrie Underwood…now I’m starting to wonder whether it was her unsightly feet? Seriously, did any of you see the movie, “Boomerang”? If you did, you would know that toes matter.