Jun
30
2009
10

Drew Barrymore’s Massive Chin

Can anyone please tell me when Drew Barrymore’s chin decided to have a growth spurt? I remember her being so damn cute and lovely, and now all I can see when I look at her face is a big, long chin. I heard that her chin always has to be airbrushed now when she goes on photo shoots. Poor girl, if that chin gets any bigger, I’m afraid it’ll touch the ground.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Body Parts,Celebrity Chins | Tags:
Jun
24
2009
5

Kara Dioguardi Is Related to Dumbo

Seriously, look at how long her ears are! My grandpa’s ears aren’t even that long…It’s almost disgusting how long her ears are–what, like 6, 7 inches? Look at that first picture and tell me the first you don’t notice is how freakishly long and massive her ear is? I noticed she almost always wears her hair down…I had to dig for these photos…gee, I wonder why.

I don’t even think there is a surgery to fix that, so I guess she’ll just have to keep wearing her hair down.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Ears | Tags:
May
04
2009
3

Rumer Willis Shows Off Her Spider Veins–er, I Mean Her Legs

How on earth this girl has the confidence to even let photographers take pictures of her is beyond my understanding. If I looked like her, I would crawl under a rock and stay there. And then she has the courage to wear outfits like this one…the outfit isn’t awful. Put Jennifer Aniston in this outfit and she’d be smokin’ hot. Rumer Willis in this outfit, however, is the complete polar opposite of smokin’ hot. And, it’s not just her face this time. It’s her damn legs. They’re covered in spider veins. Look at her upper thighs. I can see the veins even in this low-resolution photo. Nasty. And, why exactly does she have spider veins? I thought only old women who give birth 5 times get spider veins. This girl desperately needs work done…and a lot of it.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Legs,Needs Plastic Surgery | Tags:
Apr
17
2009
1

Katie Holmes Has Grossly Long Hands

What is up with Katie Holmes and her extremities?? Not too long ago, we got a good peek at her big, veiny feet. Now, it’s her grossly long hands. Look at her middle finger–it’s as long as a hot dog. It’s probably longer than Tom’s wee wee. If she wasn’t an actress, she could probably make a decent living doing prostate exams.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Body Parts,Celebrity Hands | Tags:
Mar
23
2009
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Angelina Jolie’s Veiny Man Hands

Is it possible to have one of the most wanted, feminine faces on the planet, but at the same time have gross, large, manly hands? I didn’t think it would be possible for body parts to be so incongruous, but apparently it is. Angelina Jolie and her veiny man hands are living proof that you can be beautiful in the face, but scary butch in the hands.

Angelina Jolie's bulging arm veins

A closer look at Angelina Jolie's bulging arm veins.

Angelina Jolie's bulging arm veins.

Angelina Jolie's huge man hands

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Body Parts,Celebrity Hands | Tags:
Feb
16
2009
3

Bobblehead Lohan

Is Lindsay Lohan anorexic or just a bobblehead?

Lindsay Lohan looks like a Bobblehead dollLindsay Lohan looks like a Bobblehead dollLindsay Lohan needs to eat something quickly, because she’s turning into a fucking Bobblehead doll. I mean, look at her: all that’s left is her huge head. Lohan is all bones and head. She used to be so pretty back in the day. I think this should be a lesson to all the kids out there: Kids, this is what drugs and turning lesbian with a skanky crackhead will do to you.

Just say no to drugs, and just say no to skanky crackhead girlfriends.

And what is up with those hideously unflattering pants she’s wearing in the second photo?

And, just say no to pants that show camel toe.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Heads | Tags:
Feb
03
2009
1

Kate Winslet’s Hands


Kate Winslet is far from perfect in the beauty department (though her acting skills are damn well perfect). I came across a hi-resolution photo of Kate Winslet’s hands, and I had to post it here in the celebrity body parts section…because, seriously, it’s not everyday that you find a hi-resolution photo of Kate Winslet’s hands! The surprising thing is that I don’t have anything super bitchy to say about her hands…they ain’t veiny, they ain’t “man hands,” and I don’t see any hair growing on her knuckles…I do see something that looks like a wart at the base of the middle finger on her right hand, but it could be just a mole. I’m stumped here…

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Hands | Tags:
Feb
01
2009
4

My What Huge, Nasty Veiny Feet You Have!

YUCK! Guess whose huge, nasty veiny feet these are? These feet have to be the most nasty looking pair of feet I have ever laid eyes on. Just think–this photo has been zoomed in many times (imagine how much resolution is lost doing so) and you can still distinctly see the vast network of huge, throbbing veins on her feet. Whose feet, you ask? Well, none other than Katie Holmes. Yeah, Katie Holmes apparently has a serious problem with veiny feet. I had a previous post about Liv Tyler and her veiny feet, but her veins are nothing compared to Katie’s.  

I just have to comment on her choice of footwear as well…this photo was taken of Katie while she vacations with Tom and Suri in Brazil this past weekend. Looks like they’re headed for the beach–at least that’s where I’m usually going if I’m wearing a swimsuit and cover-up (and my little kid, if I had one, is wearing flip flops). However, I usually don’t throw on a pair of 5″ come-do-me Christian Louboutin high heels when I go to the beach. I don’t get it–wouldn’t sandals have been much more appropriate?

And, is it just me, or do her legs look freakishly huge compared to her slim upper body?

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Feet | Tags:
Jan
29
2009
21

Is Heidi Montag Related to Jay Leno?





I hate to waste valuable blog space on Heidi Montag, but something about her face really bothers me. Okay, maybe a lot of things about her face bother me… But, seriously, let’s just take a completely objective point of view here: assuming that Heidi Montag wasn’t a huge celebrity douche–looking at her face, I have to say there’s something about it that’s just off. With all the plastic surgery she’s gotten, you’d think it would be perfect, right? Well, apparently, she forgot to have her huge, massive chin shaved down when her doctor put those two melons in place of her breasts. Seriously, her chin is freaking huge.  Objectively, the rest of her face isn’t horrible…seriously, objectively, Heidi Montag minus douche-bag personality minus huge-ass chin equals not bad-looking girl.  She should get that chin fixed or something–I’m starting to think of Jay Leno every time I see a picture of her.  On second thought, maybe she shouldn’t get a chin reduction…I mean, having a big, strong chin can come in handy–like for cracking nuts (a human nutcracker!).  I bet she cracks Spencer’s nuts every night.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Chins | Tags:
Jan
20
2009
10

Evangeline Lilly Has Sausage Legs


Ewwww…Evangeline Lilly’s legs look like the sausage links I had for breakfast yesterday.  If I were her, I would not wear a bikini and instead opt for sweatpants…or at least anything that would cover my stubby legs.  Look at how short her legs are too!  Her legs are as long as her torso.  Now, I wouldn’t expect Evangeline Lilly to have mile-long legs like Charlize Theron, but I don’t expect them to look like a breakfast food either. Not sexy–or beautiful–in the least.

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Written by bitching beauty in: Celebrity Legs | Tags: